The 5 S’s of a great sesh

SHMOKINParty of the century partier here. Here’s the top 5 S’s of a great sesh.

Sessions – First place I always love to hit up is sessions smoke shop in Hollywood Florida. I work my butt off all week; I want to make sure that I’ve got the best stuff for my night out with the girls. So Sessions are my favorite place to get all my stuff before heading out and…

Smoking – Smoking is my favorite thing to do. When I’m not smoking ciggies with my girls on the curbside, I’m using the pipe and hitting up the fumes real proper. Sometimes it’ll be innocent smoke, sometimes it’ll be a little bit more, depends on who’s providing and what state I’m in.

SHUSHISushi – I love eating sushi on my big nights. I love the way the rice feels. Cold sushi and hot drinks are literally the best thing ever. If you guys have never had a California roll with Japanese green tea, you are missing out. Like seriously, get your life together and try this delicious combination fifteen years ago.

Sloshing – When I’m not smoking, smoking, pushing, I’m drinking. I love the sloshing slipping slurring sensation I get after I’ve had a couple of billion lagers. I like a fat tire when I’m just drinking beers, but sometimes I’ll get some kamikazes because I don’t care who sees me, I’m going to fly myself into the nearest person wearing a navy uniform. Some people like to say I’m self-destructive, I think that’s a little harsh on the criticism, I’m just having fun.

Swiping – Swipe those cards girls! I love drunk shopping because a couple of days later when you’re still feeling the hangover; it’s like you got yourself a little gift for putting up with the crap from earlier even though you don’t need to. That way you can sit back with your chipotle and say to yourself “Oh my god, I’m so sweet. I’m so thoughtful.”

Always remember to party responsibly and make sure that all of your friends have designated drivers because it’s best to unleash and have a backup buddy there to catch you when you’re four stories high and truly thinking you’re just a little birdy who can fly.

Side note, Jeff, thanks for doing that. All of my friends avoided me when I jumped, but you didn’t. You saved my life; I want you to remember that if I wasn’s into guys with wheel chairs I would probably have taken you out for dinner because of that. But ever since it’s happened and you’re still adjusting to not being able to use your legs, and it’s just too hard for me because I keep thinking of that night and how close I came. But I appreciate that you did that for me. This goes to you, Jed.

Party of the Decade

It’s not every day or every weekend that you hear about a party that is considered the party of the decade. Usually, when you think of a major party, you picture a club or a house party. This party of the decade was nothing of that nature; It was an office party. My friend Hector had been an employee at OKL Can Line since he graduated from The University of Texas five years ago. When Hector was in college, loved to party, so it’s no surprise to me that his company is responsible for throwing the party of the decade.

OKL Can Line is a that most people think of as boring because of what they do. They are the company that repair the machines that make the soda cans that we see on the shelves at the grocery stores. Hector had been working at the company for almost five years. When he received his promotion to become the vice president of the entire company he told me he would change the way most people view the company. He always uses to say they do more than make cans all day, but from the outside looking in OKL Can Line was not the place for me.

During the month of November around the time of my birthday, I received a call from Hector, and he told me to come by his office. So I went to the office. When I arrived at his office, Hector had a notebook on his desk. The notebook was closed but on the cover of the notebook it said Party of the Year. Hector looked at me and asked me “are you ready for the best birthday party ever?” I looked at him like he was crazy. Then, he told me he was going to change the way people looked at OKL Can Line and he was going to start with me.

I Laughed, but this was something I just had to see for myself. On the day of my birthday, Hector sent me a text that read “Be at the OKL building tonight at 10:30” I laughed, and I put the phone back into my pocket. Later that night, I was sitting at home with nothing to do on a Saturday night. I started going through my phone trying to find something to do. Then, I saw the text from Hector again. I didn’t have anything better to do so I decided to drive by and see.

When I arrived at the OKL Building, there was a line of cars backed up for 200 yards. I couldn’t believe my eyes. After about 30 minutes of sitting in the car waiting to park, I finally parked the car. As I was walking to the door, I could hear the music coming from the building. It was as if I was back in college. There was a huge banner at the door that said my name and Happy Birthday.

The party was jaw dropping it was everything I wasn’t expecting. After the party, Hector told me I told you I would change the way you look at OKL. Too drunk to even stand up I stumbled my way into a cab waiting, and I went home. The next day I woke up at about 2:30 pm. I had 10 missed calls from Hector. I called him back to thank him for the party as soon as I fully woke up. When he answered he sounded like something was wrong. I asked Hector if everything was ok, in a disappointed but happy voice Hector Sait to me “the company fired him”.

Although he was sad Hector knew he had done what he said he would. He changed the way people looked at the OKL building.