SHMOKING

SHAPPING

The 5 S’s of a great sesh

SHMOKINParty of the century partier here. Here’s the top 5 S’s of a great sesh.

Sessions – First place I always love to hit up is sessions smoke shop in Hollywood Florida. I work my butt off all week; I want to make sure that I’ve got the best stuff for my night out with the girls. So Sessions are my favorite place to get all my stuff before heading out and…

Smoking – Smoking is my favorite thing to do. When I’m not smoking ciggies with my girls on the curbside, I’m using the pipe and hitting up the fumes real proper. Sometimes it’ll be innocent smoke, sometimes it’ll be a little bit more, depends on who’s providing and what state I’m in.

SHUSHISushi – I love eating sushi on my big nights. I love the way the rice feels. Cold sushi and hot drinks are literally the best thing ever. If you guys have never had a California roll with Japanese green tea, you are missing out. Like seriously, get your life together and try this delicious combination fifteen years ago.

Sloshing – When I’m not smoking, smoking, pushing, I’m drinking. I love the sloshing slipping slurring sensation I get after I’ve had a couple of billion lagers. I like a fat tire when I’m just drinking beers, but sometimes I’ll get some kamikazes because I don’t care who sees me, I’m going to fly myself into the nearest person wearing a navy uniform. Some people like to say I’m self-destructive, I think that’s a little harsh on the criticism, I’m just having fun.

Swiping – Swipe those cards girls! I love drunk shopping because a couple of days later when you’re still feeling the hangover; it’s like you got yourself a little gift for putting up with the crap from earlier even though you don’t need to. That way you can sit back with your chipotle and say to yourself “Oh my god, I’m so sweet. I’m so thoughtful.”

Always remember to party responsibly and make sure that all of your friends have designated drivers because it’s best to unleash and have a backup buddy there to catch you when you’re four stories high and truly thinking you’re just a little birdy who can fly.

Side note, Jeff, thanks for doing that. All of my friends avoided me when I jumped, but you didn’t. You saved my life; I want you to remember that if I wasn’s into guys with wheel chairs I would probably have taken you out for dinner because of that. But ever since it’s happened and you’re still adjusting to not being able to use your legs, and it’s just too hard for me because I keep thinking of that night and how close I came. But I appreciate that you did that for me. This goes to you, Jed.